


A Reason to Believe

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OK, she was officially one of those snooping wives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reason to Believe

**Author's Note:**

> this is a sequel to _The Accidental Widower_. Thanks to [](http://punkcheck.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://punkcheck.livejournal.com/) **punkcheck**  for letting me bounce some ideas off her. The title comes from the Rod Stewart song.  I call this AU because it takes place well into the future of where the show is right now.

Mid July was steaming hot in WashingtonDC and Emily appreciated the central air of her WoodleyPark home.It was just after nine o’clock; Jack and Sabrina were snug in their beds.Jack wanted to wait up for his father but since Emily did not know when he would be home from Quantico, she just promised him that Hotch would come in to say goodnight.She gathered up the kids’ laundry, slowly walking down the stairs.She had a lot of belly in front of her, growing fast as she approached her sixth month of pregnancy.As the quiet washer went around and around, Emily put Luther Vandross in the CD player.

 

She sat in the study working on scrapbooks for the kids.It was a project she started right after Bree was born.Her stepmother thought it would be a good idea to record Jack and Bree’s lives and give them books on their 18th birthday.Their parents had photographed everything from birthday parties to Saturday morning breakfast out.Emily saved hair, scraps of materials from blankies and dresses, shoestrings and art projects.At her husband’s desk, she opened both books, looking at the pictures she took in the park today.

 

It had been a hot Friday; Emily took the day off to spend time with the kids.Jack and Bree were overjoyed; they did not often get full-time with either parent.She was a little slower than usual as the heat made her tired and uncomfortable.Still the kids had a great time playing, having a picnic lunch, and chattering about their adventures with their mother.She noticed Jack wanted to be much closer to her since his own mother died.Emily always made sure she was available for him.It was important to her, and Hotch too, that he felt as much support as possible.

 

Six weeks ago, the situation of Haley’s passing came to a head.Hotch went too far and when he begged his wife for forgiveness, she gave it to him.Life slowly returned to normal in the Hotchner household…work, family, and preparing for the arrival of a new child.Still Emily could sense the tension.It was almost as if they didn’t talk about Haley because Hotch didn’t want to open a Pandora's Box.She and Hotch were rather formal with one another; it was almost like living with a friend.They did not make love like friends.Sex between them was just as phenomenal, if not more so, than before the Haley incident.He obviously had something to prove and was doing just that.

 

Those kinds of things didn’t matter one bit to Emily.She wanted Hotch’s heart and soul; thought she had it until his ex-wife died.Sighing, deciding to focus on good things for now, Emily opened the top drawer of the desk looking for a pair of scissors.Some of the pictures she took today at the park were perfect. She wanted to make sure the kids could look back on their childhood with fondness.

 

Anyone who knew Aaron Hotchner would be mortified at the contents of his drawer.Things were scattered everywhere, paper, pens, pencils, and the like.Emily started pushing things aside in search of the scissors.Papers and envelopes fell over the side and onto the floor.She pulled the scissors out, grimacing as she bent over to get the junk.A picture fell out of an envelope and Emily picked it up.It was an ultrasound of their unborn daughter and son.

 

He was tucked under his sister’s arm that day; it almost looked as if they were cradling each other.Hotch cried when he saw them and did a bad job of trying to hide it.Just thinking about it made Emily misty.Inside the envelope where she found the picture there was also folded pieces of stationary.Should she look at them?Her mind went back to the last time she looked at a letter belonging to Hotch.Thinking it was a love letter, they had one of their first real fights.His mother wrote the letter.What Emily did not need, with the hormones of pregnancy and doubts about her marriage, was to go on another one of those rides.

 

“To hell with it.” she sighed, pulling it out and unfolding it.OK, she was officially one of those snooping wives.Could she live with that?Right now, the answer was yes.

 

_ Dearest Emily, _

__

_ I should be able to tell you how I feel about you.I have done it a million times.I don’t know if you know how hard it is for me to express myself, we have been together so long it might seem like second nature but its not.I screwed up and I know that.My intentions were good but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. _

__

_ I love you, I love you more than anything but those are just words.I know that.How do I prove it?Flowers and candy are not going to do it and I would never go that route anyway.I could tell you every reason, it might take me the rest of my life but I don't care.You will wake up every morning and I will give you a new reason. _

__

_ Tomorrow morning it will be the light in your eyes, the morning after that it’s your smile.Then the way you touch my face, how good of a mother you are, your intelligence, your geekiness, your giggle, how good it feels when you massage my back, your prowess as an FBI Agent, singing with you in the car, watching you swing Bree around, holding you in my arms when its cold outside, racing and having you win, being able to wear my wedding ring in public,  _

__

_ Shopping for damn near anything, how adorable you look when you wear those skin cleaning masks, pulling markers because you love me, crawling in bed with the kids for a movie, the way you cook stir-fry, teasing me about hating Rod Stewart, how much you love my mother, how much you love your mothers, your strength in the face of anything (including the hell I put you through), your laughter at inane things like erectile dysfunction commercials, the feel of your fingers on my skin, your dirty text messages, bickering and making up, _

__

_ Your obsession with crime television, watching you dress, watching you undress, watching my children grow inside you, how funny you are when you're drunk, the way you dance, your hair on my skin, overanalyzing movies and books together, seeing pictures of you as a child, listening to you breathe when you sleep in my arms…there is more, I know there is more.I love everything about you.How could I not?You are beautiful, sweet, strong, and you put up with all of my shit. I pushed you away but you stayed, which I did not deserve.Everyday is better; everyday is perfect.Not every second not every minute, but everyday.When I fall asleep at night, in your arms, in our bed, I am content.Joy is the only word to describe how it feels being able to show you that for the rest of my life. _

 

Emily finished reading, folding the letter and placing it on the desktop.She took a deep breath and felt the warm tears slide down her face.While it would have been wonderful to hear those words from him, reading the letter was even better.This time her snooping paid off. Emily swore to herself she would not make a habit out of going through Hotch’s things.She actually hadn't been doing that tonight; the search for a pair of scissors led her to that place.

 

Wiping her face, Emily leaned down and continued to pick things up from the floor.She stuffed everything back in the drawer, closing it.After gathering herself, she grabbed her cell phone and pressed 1.

 

“Hey baby.” Hotch answered.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“I'm coming around the corner, pulling into the driveway. Why?”

 

“I'm coming to you.”

 

“You are?”

 

“Yes.” she was crying again.

 

“Emily, what's the matter?Emily…?”

 

She hung up and Hotch was worried.He drove a bit faster than was accepted in their neighborhood, quickly turning into their driveway.It was drizzling now; he grabbed his briefcase from the back and got out of the car.His wife was standing on the porch and she ran down the front steps and into his arms.Barefoot, dressed in grubby lounge pants and an OxfordUniversity tee shirt that would be too small in a few weeks, she clung to him.

 

“What's going on?” Hotch asked, holding her close as the rain fell harder.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Em.We’re getting a bit wet.”

 

“I don’t care.” She kissed him, holding his face in her hands.“I don’t care how corny it is, I would melt if I woke every morning and you told me why you loved me.”

 

“The light in your eyes would be the first reason.” He replied.

 

“Oh Aaron.” She was practically sobbing and he just held her tighter to him.He wanted to get them out of the rain so he lifted her into his arms, carrying her onto the porch.

 

Emily leaned on the banister and kept her grip on him.Hotch felt as if he couldn’t breathe.How close had he come to losing her, he didn’t know, but he knew that he was willing to do anything to keep their relationship strong.

 

“You found my letter.”

 

“I wasn’t snooping.”

 

“I don’t care about things like that.”

 

“I still felt the need to say it.I was working on the kid’s scrapbooks, looking for scissors.Your top drawer is a mess, honey.”

 

“I know.” He smiled. “I meant to clean it…actually I meant to dump it.”

 

“Everything fell over so I bent to pick it up.I found the ultrasound picture and then the letter.”

 

“And your curiosity got the better of you?” Hotch asked, clucking her under the chin before kissing her.

 

“Maybe.I'm glad it did.”

 

“Me too.”

 

They hugged again before walking into the house with their arms around each other.Hotch locked up, taking her hand and going into the study.He did not want to let her go.

 

“So, the kids’ scrapbooks?” he asked.

 

“Yeah.We had a great time today and I got pictures in the park.I wanted to put them in the books.”

 

“C'mere.” Hotch sat down on the couch, pulling his wife onto his lap.His arms went around Emily's waist.“I just want everything to be good between us.I don’t want it to be fake good; I want it to be good.I’ll do anything to make it good.”

 

“I only want it to be good if it’s supposed to be.” Emily replied.“I think about it a lot.Too much maybe, but it is my life.We are going to have problems, that’s natural.If I'm not with you, I'm not happy.I would rather deal with moments in time when we have to walk far to get back to each other than know we’ll never get back to each other.”

 

Hotch closed his eyes.He leaned his head on her chest; Emily stroked his hair.

 

“I want to make a list too.” she said.

 

“That’s a good idea; tell me your top 10.”

 

“No,” Emily shook her head.“I spoil you, Aaron Hotchner.”

 

“Mmm,” he pulled her into a kiss.“You do it so well baby.So, so well.”

 

Their kisses intensified, Hotch pulled her closer to him.He murmured how much he loved her between kisses.Emily toyed with his tie and the buttons on his dress shirt.

 

“Hey dad.”

 

“Hey Jack.” He stopped kissing but his wife remained on his lap.

 

“I thought you would come up to say goodnight.” The eight year old said.

 

“I just got here; I was coming.How was your day?”

 

“Good.” Jack smiled. “We had so much fun.”

 

“You must be exhausted.C’mon, let’s get back in bed.”

 

“OK.”

 

Hotch and Emily got up from the couch, he took his son’s hand.Then he leaned over to whisper to his wife.

 

“I’ll be back in a little while.Think we can pick up where we left off?”

 

“I'm going to the bedroom.” She replied.

 

“That sounds even better.Love you.”

 

“I love you too.Night Jack.”

 

“Goodnight, Emily.”

 

They went upstairs together and Emily cleaned up the scrapbook and pictures.She turned off the music, heading upstairs to her bedroom.There was a bit of extra time…Emily would put on something nice.Sex was not the solution for everything and she knew that but it was always so good.She was in the mood for something good.

 

***


End file.
